Ritualling

27 Mar, 2026

I've started a new ritual. Before going into work, I stop by a cafe and grab breakfast. I think it just recently opened. My main indicator is a small, informal, handwritten note with the hours of business pasted onto the window. Too informal to be intentional. Another indicator is the very modern decor: austere and minimal, almost to a fault.

I don't stay long in this little new cafe, although I wish I had the time to sit down and savour the atmosphere, despite my preference for a place a bit more cosier. Instead, I order, sit, and do some writing on my phone until my name is called.¹ It's the only consistent time that I have to write, so it's a nice block of time to have, even if it's only 10-15 minutes.

If I could, I would name the cafe, but it would most certainly dox me. Just trust that when I first read the sign, I was a bit amused. Something about seeking something out, and finally taking a hold of it. It seemed pretty relevant to my situation currently.

I buried the lede a bit here. Sitting in this cafe for a few minutes is just one small part of my morning ritual. In the morning I get to my workplace, work for 30 minutes, take 30 minutes to walk down to the cathedral somewhat nearby, sit in morning mass for 30 minutes, and then walk back to the office for another 30ish minutes while stopping at this cafe.

For context, I'm a cradle Catholic, but I've identified as an agnostic atheist for almost a decade. Recently, I've been experimenting with going back to Catholicism. As a cradle Catholic, I realise that I had forgotten or just straight up did not know a lot of things regarding the faith. Maybe I misjudged it. Or maybe my judgements were right. So I'm trying again. That is my situation right now, and this is my blog trying to document it.

That said, I was rather intrigued when I read Absurd Pirate's blog post, religion for atheists. An atheist, Pirate tried their hand at Christianity, but it didn't pan out for them. But after some time, they did realise the importance of ritual. Even secular, ordinary rituals like the ones they noted in their post.

I really enjoy a good ritual, more than I thought I ever did. For example, the little ritual I've found myself this Lenten season of going to mass and then writing for a bit in a cafe after. The larger ritual I've come to appreciate more recently is mass. I used to hate mass. I even went four years without going to mass, and did not miss it. But now I've come to look forward to it.²

There's a lot that I've forgotten about mass. Whenever I learn (or re-learn?) why a part of the mass is why it is, I appreciate it a little bit more.

There's also just something about a tradition passed down through the ages, not wholly unchanged, slowly being moulded into what it is now. I have a bad tendency to romanticise what it is old, but I romanticise it because of it's age, because of how it seems to outlast the tides of time.

And I just like the mystery of it all, which is something a more secular ritual might lack. I've always been drawn to the hope that what we see isn't all there is, but something just beneath the surface, or present in everything and everywhere. And in through ritual, we can become closer to whatever that something or someone is. In the Catholic context, being closer to God.

It's also the hymns, the grandness (or the cosiness) of being in a church, the light pouring through coloured glass, the smell of incense, the sight of its smoke swirling up and disappearing into the air, the kneeling, the praying, the witnessing of bread and wine being transformed. It feels like the rest of the world is put on hold and that small hour of time is truly sacred.

It's funny, but I came to this conclusion by not following my normal routine.³ I have attended my parish for nearly three decades now. It's like a second home to me, but it's way too comfortable. I've become stagnant. This wasn't intentional at all, but I've been to six different churches in the past two months. Seeing how each parish does mass a little bit differently has actually been very interesting to me. I appreciate mass, wherever it takes place.⁴

This is not to downplay non-religious ritual. This is just what I like. Maybe establishing some sort of ritual, secular or not, would be good for people. To pause, slow down, observe, and take stock of reality, whatever that is for you. It is too easy to drift through life and not contemplate where you are, where you were, and where you are going.